I don't want to be said as being a clingy person. But I just can't help it..
The idea of you oversea is a pain to me, it's like someone just stomp on my heart and i can't do anything but to cry. Don't wanna be a selfish person and say "No you can't go" so would rather you have fun and i suffer the pain. People would surely say WTH I cry for?! that's the question: I don't know why. The thought of you now just bring tears to my eyes and flowing down my cheek continuously. My heart feel so painful that I can't breathe. I realised I was about to enter depression soon. Being such a dependable ass on you just make separation so much hard to bear. Didn't want to spoil any of your day and so I tried to pretend. First night was the most terrible that I cried and miss you so much. Called out for you knowing that you won't be able to hear. I was too tired from all the crying and I can't even do my proj. I gave up and cry myself to sleep.

I woke up the next day feeling like shit. From top to toe, I can feel nothing, NOTHING is happy at all. I wasn't delighted in waking up and feel zombie-like. All I want was to keep sleeping till I open my eye and see you again. Went to work with a moodless face and didn't smile at all, every single moment I just want to be with you but I keep telling myself "no I can't". Want myself not to be clingy by replying all your msg super late because I would rather I think of you because chatting on phone with you would just make me burst out in tears.. Saved up all the tears from morning and cry my way in my shower. It was so goddamn hurtful and have to do it silently because I really don't want my family to know, It feels even more hurtful. I ain't a strong girl and I know I can't be. Crying was all I can do. And now here I am, crying on the second night..... « OLDER POSTS | NEWER POSTS »